Ever have a day when you wondered why you had children? We've all been there! Whether you have an only child, many, or somewhere in between, you can establish some basic Family Laws to make things run more smoothly.

Parenting is strictly On-the-Job-Training. So is being a child. Becoming a peaceable, loving family takes work!

No matter what age your children are right now, you can establish some Family Laws that will make your journey together easier. I know families who have held Family Meetings and established more rules than Congress. Even the Bible had only Ten Commandments. Every family needs to establish whatever laws are appropriate for them, but let me suggest Family Laws in their simplest form:

Five One-Word Laws:

In establishing your Family Laws, I suggest that you have a family gathering where you can openly ask for your childrens' feelings. However, families really aren't a democracy. The parents should be setting the rules, but if you establish them together, complete with agreed upon consequences, then implementing them will be much easier. If they break a Family Law, there are set consequences, and they have broken a "law" not just caught you in an overly strict moment. You have become a microcosm of the "real world" they will someday have to navigate on their own.

Here's a brief run-down of what each Law means:

Peace: Don't fight. It takes two, so rather than listening to who did what to whom, remind the children that the Peace Law has been broken, and they must work through the consequences. I suggest a "sit aside" area where they must remain until each can verbalize what he/she did that was wrong, apologize, ask for forgiveness, and then hug (even superficial ones count). Asking for forgiveness is extremely important. By the way, these laws apply to parents, too... :-) If one person is losing control all by himself, then he needs a "sit aside" time until he can regain self-control.

Respect: Family members should treat each other respectfully. This means asking and responding respectfully. And if the request ends with "please" it should carry immediate response, even if to negotiate a compromise to the request. The consequence for disrespect? "Let's start over." The child may have to repeat the remark six times until she regains a respectful tone, but usually once will do it.

Asking: As you can see, the laws overlap somewhat. If parents "ask" rather than "tell", they are being respectful as well as meeting the Asking Law. Children should ask for permission, which also includes calling in when plans change, they find themselves running late, and similar situations. The natural consequences of disobedience? "You didn't ask, so next time the answer will have to be No." This can be especially tough if the next time is the Prom!

Order: Picking up after yourself. Doing what is your responsibility for helping around the house or yard. For teens who never see dirt and think an entire room is their closet, you may need to work out special terms (like "keep the door closed"). Consequences? They will change with age, but could start with the "Bag that Eats Toys" when they are left out. For older kids, how about a "Condemned" sign on the door, and the child cannot come out of the room until it has been cleaned up. One mom had her children check out toys like library books, except they couldn't get a new one without returning the first.

Obedience: An umbrella law. It's part of all of the others, and each family needs to establish consequences to meet their needs.

Others, such as Lying and Honesty are important laws as well, but they could be included in Respect --for the truth and for the property of others.

It takes some time to set up the infra-structure of the family as you do it together. But once in place, it will save you time and heart ache. And you will be well on the way to raising responsible individuals and nurturing a loving home.

(Marian Hays mentors others to improve working and personal relationships. She created a home based business ten years ago so she could be available for her son. She can show you how to receive parenting information like this in your own home through the Success Channel- FREE! She also markets books, audios and videos of internationally known top trainers in business and life skills, including parenting. Visit her website at http://www.sohos.net/lifeskills Email her at mentor@sohos.net